What is it like to have ADHD?

1. Afraid of saying rude things or offending others

“I have a tendency to blurt out whatever pops into my head or my strong opinions often lead me to butt heads with others in conversations. As soon as I say something rude I regret it. I spend a lot of time feeling bad about the things I’ve said.”

2. Can’t help but notice things around them that are not of consequence

“Sounds, shapes, colors, tags on my clothes, conversations that someone else is having behind me… these unimportant things attract my attention, leaving me distracted. My family often complains that I don't listen well. I just want to turn my mind off sometimes but don’t know how to. People often refer to me as being spacey or confused.

 
3. Frequently misinterpreting information, often to the negative

“People often correct me saying “that’s not what really happened” or “there is more to the story…” I’m not trying to make up a story but I often interpret things negatively when that is not the reality, or miss important details of a story and remember just a part of the whole story. 

4. Everything takes longer than expected

“I often think: “that’s easy! I can finish it after lunch or in 30 mins” but oftentimes I end up miscalculating the time and things take much longer than expected;  for example getting myself ready and or cleaning up. I’m also a perfectionist. I’m always in a rush and often late. I feel like my life is in a pile. I internalize this struggle and feel like a failure.

(Conditions that are more common in men)

5. Extremely laid back or extremely impulsive

Men with hyperactivity: “I tend to be extremely active, energetic, spontaneous, talkative, restless and get upset by little provocation (can be violent) *Often men with hyperactivity disregard the need for treatment, despite the insistence of their spouse. They are less likely to seek out and accept treatment unless they are very compromised and “forced” to.

On the other hand, men with the inattentive type express : “I may appear easy going or laid back, but people complain that I’m slow, spacey, and I often procrastinate and don’t follow through with tasks.”

6. Relationships are hard

“My mind is disorganized. It’s not easy to remember dates or plans. This is often misinterpreted by my spouse as me not caring. She complains that I make her feel unimportant because I either forget or make the same mistakes over and over. It’s not easy to stay calm and engage because my mind is constantly distracted.

7. Higher probability of addiction or dependency

Impulsivity and disorganization in the mind makes it difficult for them  to communicate with others, be intimate with their spouse, and cope with stress. 

“I don’t want to but I tend to jump to “quick solutions” as stress relief. This may present as viewing pornography, external affairs, drinking, or substance abuse.

8. Unique work struggles

“When someone gives me instructions and tasks, I do a good job. I’m also good at building, fixing, and researching (things that catch my attention). But I’m not good at time management, getting tasks started on my own, or breaking down large projects into smaller tasks/goals. I also get quite irritated when someone interrupts me while I’m on task.”